Terribly Wonderful
by Decadent Lover
Summary: Light tries to be a sub-par lover in order to get Misa to leave him alone, but his plan backfires. Light/Misa


**A/N:** Another prompt from the LJ Kink Meme!

**Pairing:** Light/Misa

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or make any profit from this fanfic.

* * *

It was inevitable that after moving in together, Misa would expect sex. Light was starting to run out of excuses to avoid her advances, and she was too dense to take a hint. Or perhaps she was willfully dense. Light scowled and wished Misa would just have an affair like a normal woman and leave him alone. He was seriously starting to wonder if it was worth keeping her alive just for those damn Shinigami eyes. He paused in his internet search to write down the name of a vicious criminal.

"Lii-ight!"

Light cringed as Misa entered the room and began molesting him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and started messing up his hair.

"Misa, I'm busy working," he scolded, indicating the computer and death note.

Misa glanced down slyly and batted her eyelashes. "Too much work is bad for your health," she cooed. She trailed a hand down the front of his shirt. "Misa knows ways to help Light relax." She winked suggestively and started moving her hands lower.

"Not now, Misa," Light said, holding her at arms length.

"Hmmph!" Misa pouted and sat down on the couch to sulk. "Misa already judged 150 criminals this morning. That's enough for today, isn't it?"

Light carefully fixed his hair, and picked up his pen.

Misa's lower lip trembled. "Everyone loves Kira for getting rid of the criminals. Why won't you let me reward you?"

Light ignored her and continued writing.

x

Misa's sexual advances continued at an annoying frequency over the next week. Light pulled an overnighter at the University library just to get away from her. But avoiding her only made Misa more clingy and desperate.

Then Light had an epiphany. He would give Misa what she wanted, except he'd make the experience so horrible and awkward that she wouldn't ever want it again. Heck, maybe even just giving into her advances would make her want it less. People always wanted what they couldn't have.

Light's pride wouldn't allow him to be too terrible at sex. But maybe, if he was rough and uncaring and finished first and ignored Misa afterwards, she would be unhappy. And maybe she would consider pursuing one of the countless men who would be more than overjoyed to have an attractive young clingy model for a girlfriend. Yes, that's what he'd do: he'd be a selfish lover, so terrible that even Matsuda would seem competent in comparison, and Misa would eventually move on. Or at least satisfy her sexual needs by having an affair. It was a brilliant plan.

x

Misa grabbed Light's hand and placed it on the side of her thigh. "Li~ight, do you think you can take my panties off with just your tongue?"

Light leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Misa, I'd rather just get to the point."

Misa beamed up at him, lay on the bed and spread her legs. "Oh that's fine Light, Misa doesn't need any foreplay if Light doesn't want any."

Light unzipped his pants.

"Do you know why?" Misa asked in a husky whisper.

"No," Light said, starting to get irritated.

"Misa has had plenty of practice preparing herself with a dildo that is the exact same size as Light!"

Light turned red and choked. "How did you know _that_?"

"I already told you: Misa found out _everything_ about Light before meeting him."

Light grumbled and removed his pants.

"Li~ight, you're taking too long to get started," Misa complained. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed herself up against him. She was already wet.

Light braced himself with his hands on either side of Misa, and pushed in, in one quick thrust. He thrust again, quickly and roughly.

Misa shuddered and gasped beneath him. Was he being too rough? Good.

"Ah!" She clenched and then released. Light felt her get even wetter. Holy crap, had Misa just…?

Misa blushed and pulled him down for a kiss. "Oh Light, you feel so good."

Despite himself, Light found it actually was pleasurable to have Misa beneath him, moaning and panting as if he were the best lover on earth. Which would have been completely acceptable if he had been _trying_ to be good, but maybe Light was just too perfect to ever do anything badly. He felt her muscles clenching and unclenching on him.

Misa tilted her head back in bliss. "Oh, Kira-sama!" she exclaimed.

Then Light remembered the plan. He had to get Misa to not want this ever again, not love every minute of it. So far trying to be rough or insensitive wasn't working: Misa was some kind of sex fiend. Then Light had another idea: if Misa liked any type of sex at all, he was sure she'd probably hate an abrupt end to sex. He tried thinking of all the unsexy images he could manage. Aizawa, Matsuda, Ryuk getting it on with Rem! Light felt himself go limp with satisfaction.

x

He started to pull out. "Misa, I don't think I can-"

Misa stared up at him with tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "Oh, Light," she gasped.

Was she upset? Light fought the urge to smirk malevolently. Victory was finally his! He rolled over on the bed and turned away from her. His shoulders shook as he allowed himself a moment of silent laughter.

Misa scooted over and wrapped her arms around him. "Light," she whispered. Her voice sounded sorrowful and full of compassion.

Why would she feel sorry for him? Oh, wait. Light had a sinking feeling he might have just made a terrible mistake.

She petted his hair tenderly. "Light, do you have trouble maintaining an erection?"

Light blushed. "What! Of course not!" Light sputtered as he tried to simultaneously salvage his pride and discourage Misa. "I just didn't enjoy what we were doing very much, that's all."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Light," Misa said gently and continued hugging him. "Is this why you've been avoiding me for so long?" She squeezed him harder. "Silly Light, you shouldn't worry, Misa-Misa will always love you no matter what!"

Light turned over and gave her an irritated glare. Maybe if he was mean to her… "I said I didn't enjoy what we were doing, is that so hard for you to understand?"

Misa gave him a compassionate smile. "Don't worry, Light, Misa will try to find something that you like." She pushed him onto his back and started moving down.

He tried to stop her. "Misa, wait-"

"Don't worry about me, Light. Misa has already had twelve orgasms. I want to make this good for you."

Then Misa started licking up the side of his flacid penis and rubbing his balls gently with two fingers.

Oh god! Where had Misa learned how to give head? Light felt himself getting hard again. Light let out a moan, enjoying the blowjob despite himself.

Misa let out a delighted giggle and continued licking sensually up and down his length. She took the tip in her mouth and swirled her tongue around.

Crap. There was just one potential way left to ruin Misa's fun. Light focused on coming early, jerking his hips so that some of his semen got on Misa's face and ran down her chin. Girls hated that, right?

Misa swallowed and wiped her chin with a blanket. "See?" she crowed victoriously. "I knew there was something Light would enjoy." She sat up "When Light finishes his recovery time, we can try finding out what other things he might like." She batted her eyes at him coyly. "Misa just wants sex to be as good for Light as it was for Misa."

Light glared at her.

Misa giggled and leaned over to give him a conspirational whisper. "Don't worry, Misa-Misa has lots of sex toys, and is very experienced. I'm sure we can find something else. And even if Light can only come with blowjobs, Misa will give him as many as he wants." Then she bounced and jumped up off the bed. "Misa is going to the kitchen to get something to eat. Do you want anything, Light?

Light groaned and rolled over on the bed. He was doomed.


End file.
